Borderline diary entries pre diagnosis

I've got some quotes from my diaries 2003-2010.... I've picked out anything that sounds like it was because of the BPD, bearing in mind the entries are from the ages of 13 through to 20. I'll post one or two at a time. 

2003/2004 )13/14)

I am a bitch, I don't care about anyone except myself. It doesn't matter to me if anyone else is upset.

I don't think I have a heart.

Even if I love someone its not about them, its me.

My mum hurt her knee and I didn't ask her if she was OK. It doesn't effect me. 

June 2004 (14)

I NEED love I cant have.

When I self harmed on my legs it wasn't for attention, when I did it on my arms it was for attention. That doesn't make it any less serious though.

I don't want it, I HATE IT , I don't WANT IT, I DO NOT WANT IT ANYMORE. I HATE EVERYONE.

People seem to think love is important, It isnt. 

Love can hurt more than money can. You can lose more through love, physically, mentally and emotionally.

I don't want feeling but I have them and there is nothing I can do about that.

I love my dad and that hurts.

I loved BOY and that hurts.

I love my family and they love me, but I cant accept their love because......

I am a selfish, hating, stressed out bitch, who cares about no one but her self, I also cant believe in love because I don't think I can feel it.

I am really messed up so this is difficult. I feel evil and psychotic, but I think that isnt real, I'm not evil, I just pretend to be, not consciously though, I think I can shut my feelings away and then they wont hurt, I feel like I am holding on to something and I cant let it go.

I don't know what it is though, I have mental blanks where my feelings are concerned, I don't know what is actually the matter with me.