The effect of me... Poem

It's a scary place,
Inside my head,
The only place I'm safe,
Is in my bed,

I inflict,
Contradict,
And manipulate conflict,

I complicate,
Twist,
Hurt life,
Change,
My mood will inflate and deflate.
The effect?
I'm a disease.

Need constant attention,
Affection,
Push for reaction,
Cry for interaction,

For others,
I'm a drain,
A wreck,
Cause of pain,
Meaningless subject,
A pointless addition to their own problems.

There used to be another misha,
Inside of me,
High and manic,
Less pathetic,
Less empathetic,
Even MORE self absorbed,
Yet still SO insecure,
She won't be back,
But still, I'm here. Waiting by the door.